Speak to me, in the light of the dawn, mercy comes with the morning.

Oh the desires of a sinful nature. The cravings of an unrighteous flesh. The thoughts of a tainted mind. Isn't that what the American work ethic tells us? Do it bigger. Do it better. Push harder. Be the BEST.

Why do I find myself acting like a dog?

Wanting to return to its vomit.

Wanting to dwell on what has been expelled.

Forgiven.

Forgotten.

Oh. But I have not forgotten.

I have not forgotten those feelings of immediate gratification.

The joy through the pain.

The victories through the struggles.

Isn't that what life is about?

Just get by?

Live with a goal in mind.

Set your eye on the prize.

Win, win, win.......

no. matter. what.

But as one such C.S. Lewis said...

"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,

I can only conclude that I was not made for here."

These cravings are too strong.

These desires are too great.

NOTHING in this world can satisfy.

Maybe for a time.

And believe me, I loved that time.

Feeling fulfilled in a worldy sense.

Feeling good enough.

Having "purpose".

But this desire is so much greater.

This want and need is so much stronger.

And so, I can only conclude......

I was not made for here.

Forever His,

Rachel