Sorry I'm not sorry.

I wrote this in my journal a while ago, but it is seriously rocked my world tonight as a cried before the Lord for Him to punish me of my sins and to stop loving me so much. Then I read this....

Even when you are at your dirtiest...

and you have no desire to be clean...

and you feel like there is no way any kind of grace could cover you...

the Lord does something crazy.......

He makes you clean ANYWAYS.

He says, "Sorry, my daughter, but it's already been done!"

WE CAN'T EVEN RESIST IT!

Even if we try.

He is simply irresistible!

(No pun intended.)

And His grace is always enough.

Even when I'm ignorant and stubborn.

Even when I'm prideful.

Even when I promise Him my whole heart, my whole devotion, and yet continuously give myself away to fleeting lovers of the flesh.

EVEN WHEN I DON'T WANT HIM TO CLEAN ME.

He simply looks at me with tender love in His eyes and says 3. simple. words.

IT IS FINISHED.

And my friend,

IT. IS.

Forever His,

Rach

To FEEL or not to feel

WORTH. It is talked about a LOT in the Christian church. Where do you find your worth, is your identity in Christ, etc. etc. etc. And I understand that in order to FEEL truly worthy, we need to place our full identity Christ. To KNOW who Heeeee says we are, and that is IT. But what if we still don't FEEL worthy? What if we KNOW it in our heads, but do not KNOW it in our hearts. What do we do then? What happens next.....

To place our identity in Christ is a big enough step as it is.

You are LITERALLYYYYY taking a leap of faith.

Finding your worth in Someone that you aren't even sure of sometimes.

That you may have your doubts about.

Or maybe you don't!

Maybe you are super confident that He will always come through.

But still.

You are giving your worth to someone else to hold onto, instead of trying to foster it yourselves.

BIG frickin deal.

SO.

This is how the whole thing should essentially work out.....

You feel worthless.

Christ comes in and steals your heart.

You are His.

He tells you that you are worthy in His sight.

You KNOW you are worthy.

You FEEL worthy.

You live as if you are the most worthy flippin thing on the planet.

(But still remaining humble about your worth....don't go all Kanye proud on me now.)

........Happily. ever. after.

But what if you don't get to that second to last step. (Or maybe it's third to last....regardless...)

The part about you now FEELING worthy.

You KNOW it in your head.

But maybe that doesn't translate to your heart......

Feelings come and go right?

So how do we let our HEAD dictate the way we feel about ourselves?

Like letting the fact that we KNOW we are worthy make us live as if we truly were....even if we don't feel like we are.

I just don't really know how you can make yourself FEEL someway that you really aren't.

Especially when you KNOW it.

You KNOW the frickin truth.

You just may not quite believe it.....

I don't just want to KNOW I'm worthy.

I want to FEEL worthy.

"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God." Isaiah 62:3

He calls me precious.

I believe it.

Now help me to FEEL it.

Forever His,

Rachel