I fear....
disappointing God what the world thinks
being in a relationship
not knowing who I am never being able to have children
losing my family
having someone really know me
that no one even cares I am not beautiful enough
stumbling so far i can't get up
revealing my heart fully
making a fool of myself
dying alone
never saying goodbye
believing all the lies
turning my back on God
growing old and getting wrinkly
getting close to someone
the real evil in this world
being alone
the fact that spiders have 8 legs that i won't be liked
that i will never really be worthy
Why do I fear?
What does this world have to offer that it should be WORTHY of my fears?
God is Love.
There is no fear in love.
Therefore, why should I fear?
Give me one good reason.
Will I wake up tomorrow?
At 4:38 am, will I have breathed my last breath?
Did I tell my family I love them enough?
Will I die wearing a cute outfit?
(Maybe not the biggest fear on my list, but still....)
Probably one of my greater fears is letting someone really KNOW me.
Know my likes.
My dislikes.
My strengths.
My weaknesses.
Know my heart.
THAT really freaks me out.
Probably number one on my "Reasons I Do Not Need a Boyfriend" List.
And yes.
I. actually. wrote. a. list.
But still.
Sometimes it even freaks me out that God already knows my heart, knows me,
better than I know myself.
But I will push through.
God has given me strength.
I will not fear.
So goodbye fear of death.
Goodbye fear of unworthiness.
Goodbye fear of spiders, evil, intimacy.
There is only room for one thing in my heart.
And that space is no longer vacant.
Jesus resides there.
Forever His,
Rachel
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